The “Phone-a-Friend” September Reset
September has a way of sneaking up on us. The commitments start rolling in, the days get shorter, and suddenly the pressure to “get it together” hits full force. For many of us, September feels like both the beginning and the end. It’s part fresh start, part burnout in your pumpkin spice.
My natural instinct has always been to double down. Do more. Make the list longer. Attempt to hustle my way into ease and order. But something lovely happened when I paused to chat instead:
The Surprise in the Conversation
This month, my friend Meg and I sat down for what started as a catch-up chat. No formal agenda. Just two women talking about kids, work, Taylor Swift, migraines, and the never-ending plate spinning.
Within just 20 minutes, the fog lifted. The frustration, the heaviness … it wasn’t gone, but it felt different. Lighter.
That’s when we realized something we hadn’t before: so often, what we think of as burnout is in reality loneliness.
Think about it. Exhaustion, frustration, resentment. Those are the symptoms. But at the root, there’s isolation. We get through it, we handle it all, we push though with our signature grit and competency. And in the process, we quietly cut ourselves off from the very thing that restores us: connection.
Why simply working harder Doesn’t Fix It
Here’s the trap many of us fall into:
We feel off → so we assume we need a better systems.
We feel tired → so we assume we need to rest more.
We feel unmotivated → so we assume we need a solid morning routine.
Sure, those are absolutely all things we need in place! But … if when it comes to burnout, the real issue is loneliness, none of those fixes work. More checklists won’t dissolve isolation. More rest doesn’t replace meaningful connection. Better routines can’t provide feedback.
The solution is surprisingly simple: phone a friend.
The Phone-a-Friend Reset
Here’s how you can try it this week:
Notice the symptoms. The next time you feel exhausted, resentful, or on the edge of burnout, pause and ask: Could this actually be loneliness?
Interrupt the spiral. Instead of adding more to your plate, reach out. Send the text. Pick up the phone. Suggest a quick coffee or even a 10-minute chat.
Anchor your routines in depth, not just doing. Let connection be part of your infrastructure. A conversation with the right person resets your energy faster than another checklist ever will.
Why This Matters for September
September arrives with cooler temps and more pressure baked right in … just like the pumpkin spice. But what if instead of making the month about fixing, tweaking, or proving ourselves, we made it about conversation as capacity?
Presence comes easier when we don’t internalize and force ourselves to just figure it all out alone. Routines stick better when we have someone to check in with. And the fog of “burnout” clears faster when we realize it isn’t just exhaustion, it’s disconnection.
So here’s my challenge to you: before you double down this month, try the phone-a-friend reset. See what happens when you stop doing more, and start talking more.
Who’s the one person you could reach out to this week? The friend, sister, or colleague you can touch base with just to check in? Don’t overthink it. Make the call.
